Lessons Learned
The other night, I slipped out of the house to take a quick walk with our old lady dog. And I learned something… Well. Disturbing.
As I passed my house, I looked up at the window of our master bedroom. And I realized that from the tilt of our cheap blinds, people could still see inside our bedroom. I’d always assumed if the blinds were closed and if I couldn’t see outside, no one could see inside. WRONG!
As in any unsuspecting neighbor passing by our house between certain hours has probably gotten an eyeful. Especially since I shower at night and get dressed on my side of the bed — the side closest to the window.
The poor, poor boy who’s 18 and lives next door? And his friends? Since they all tend to hang out on the curb, they’ve probably seen me topless more in the last few months than my husband has in the past few years. They probably take turns scrubbing each other’s eyeballs with a scouring pad just to get rid of the visual I’ve unknowingly put in their head.
And Oh. Dear. Lord. What about all of those times when I think “Oh I shouldn’t have eaten that ice cream today.” And feeling guilty, I start doing push-ups, jumping jacks or some other spastic-type aerobic moves — right after I’ve taken off my shirt and bra. So now this kid and some of his friends or any neighbors out walking their dogs? Have probably seen those shenanigans too. Gulp.
If there IS an upside to this, it would be that teen boys baring witness to these antics must feel as if they’ve just been doused with a bucket of icewater. Hey, these parents should be THANKING me. I’m birth control!
Wonder if people would pay for that? If so, I think I’ve found my calling…
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