Don’t worry- it’s been a long time for more parents than you can shake a silver bullet at. While the world of the erotic has generally been thought of as a man’s domain, more and more women are staking a claim in their sexuality and taking control of their interactions with their partners and their bedrooms.

Though the mainstreaming of female sexuality may seem like it is a new trend, it really isn’t all that novel. St. Louis sexpert and Pure Romance sex toy party representative, Katie Proctor, said, “I think the demand has always been there, but it’s only within the past couple of decades that women have become comfortable enough to talk with their girlfriends in an open, party setting about their sexual relationship. There is still a long way to go, however.” Even with a rise in female focused sexual products and entertainment, Katie said, “There is definitely still a stigma attached to women’s sexuality. It’s not fully accepted for a woman to masturbate or need additional stimulation apart from their husband.”

Ironically, the female orgasm and sex drive is a catch 22. Societal pressures about female sex drive (the slut vs. stud mentality), jokes about the lack of a female sex drive that become ingrained in social mores, and the shunning of self-stimulation is the very thing that is killing women’s sex drive. When asked what is the best way to reawaken your sex drive, Katie said, “It sounds blunt, but I would say masturbation. Orgasms lead to desire. I compare it to limiting sweets-stave them off long enough and the craving goes away. Cheat once and the love for chocolate comes back full-force!” And America’s favorite sex therapist, Dr. Ruth, agrees that orgasms can increase sex drive- and who says giving yourself one isn’t just the ticket to get things going?

Katie said the most popular items that women are purchasing to add a little spark to their nights are the “Thumbs Up” g-spot and clitoral vibrator, the clitoral arousal creams, and tying for third place are c-rings and male stimulators. Katie explains that last one saying, “Women tend to feel guilty buying for just themselves, so they throw in one of those to take home to their partner.” She also added that the latest trends she has noticed in female focused sex products is the uptick in sales and products designed for maturing women, including swings, stand and position pillows.

In addition to the rise in female sex products, and the rising popularity of sex toy parties, the rise in female created and consumed pornography and erotica also shows that women are starting to shed the cloak of secrecy. A simple Google search turns up several female friendly pornography and written erotica sites that are continuing to increase in popularity. Some of the well known, typically male-centered, pornography websites are even featuring “female friendly” sections with photos and videos. And the benefits of jumping in and claiming a killer-O (with outside stimulation or not) are more than just a smile on your face and an extra kick in your step. Katie said, “Orgasms are great for mental and physical health so anything that helps women have them is approved by me! Men are the typical creators of porn and I think that’s fine – for men. Women need to create and spectate what turns them on. Written erotica and female centered pornography are examples of that and the emergence of this type of porn is exactly what needs to happen to awaken the need for female sexual satisfaction.”

So, next time the cat’s away don’t feel bad being the mouse and playing. Your partner will more than likely thank you for your new found sexual appetite.

Katie has been kind enough to offer one lucky reader their choice between the ever-popular “Thumbs Up” and the “Xcream” clitoral cream. To enter the contest, simply leave a comment below and we will randomly select the winner next Wednesday, April 7.  

Receive additional entries: for blogging about the contest and let us know in a separate comment, subscribing to our mailing list/RSS feed and let us know in a separate comment, twittering this giveaway and let us know in a separate comment, stumble this post and let us know in a separate comment.

If winner does not claim prize by April 10, 2010 they will forfeit their prize to alternate winner who will be drawn at random.