Hope Through Grief: Layne’s Grace
Just days from her due date, Debbie Brummit (a St. Louis native currently residing in Arizona) went to the doctor for her final visit. What was to be an exciting moment turned devastating when the Dopplar revealed silence. The baby’s heart was no longer beating. And thus the Brummit’s began walking down a path no parent wants to travel.
When they were admitted to the hospital on October 15, 2009, they knew they would deliver a stillborn. They had been told they were having a little boy and they announced his name to friends and family so that everyone would know who he was before he was born. But much to their surprise, they delivered instead a perfect, beautiful baby girl.
Layne Grace.
Having prepared for a boy, Debbie and her husband Ira didn’t have any clothes for their daughter. No pretty onesie to carefully dress her in. No pink blanket to swaddle and cuddle her for the very short time they had her. Thankfully and gratefully, the hospital provided an outfit for Layne. And on the front was a butterfly and the word, “Beautiful.”
“As I was holding her,” Debbie writes, “I stared at the butterfly and thought about how, even though Layne had already made it to Heaven, with only a brief stop here, I loved her deeply and felt proud of her. I thought about how a butterfly’s life is very short, but when we see one, it’s beauty and grace brings a moment of happiness…”
There is no greater grief than that of a parent who loses a child. And for those parents who deliver stillborns, there is often a fear that their child will be forgotten. One Chesterfield mother described it as a “fear that somehow it will seem as though it was all a dream. I feared that even I would question whether or not my son had truly been here.”
From the ashes of despair for the Brummit family came beauty, however, when they launched Layne’s Grace in memory of their daughter. Layne’s Grace is a place for parents who have lost children to come and share their child’s story. It’s a place where their children will be known and loved and remembered. It’s a place where parents can share their grief and their hope. Their heartache and their healing. It is a place where grief can transform, as does the butterfly, and take flight.
But the Brummit’s did not stop there. Immediately after Layne’s birth, they longed to give back to the many who poured into them. They wanted to bless other parents walking through the same pain. So they launched Layne’s Project. Knowing the importance of honoring the memory of a child, the Brummit’s, along with friends and family, began assembling memory bags for hospitals to give to grieving parents who deliver stillborns or lose a child at birth. In each bag is a handmade teddy bear, a baby blanket, a picture frame, a journal and an outfit for the baby to wear. “We hope these items will be a sign to families that their baby is loved deeply by many people around the nation,” the Brummit’s write on their website.
“We started Layne’s Grace,” Debbie says, ”because we love her so much and wanted to give her memory a positive energy. Her spirit is so beautiful and we don’t want people to look at our family and see saddness. Instead we want people to think of Layne and see her as a spirit of joy and beauty. Our babies who live on earth with us are such gifts and we should be grateful for every minute we have with them, but our babies in heaven can be gifts too and we hope that other families can find peace in knowing their baby’s spirit is capable of beautiful things and does not need to be forgotten.”
If you would like to be a part of Layne’s Grace, you can contact layne.grace(AT)gmail(dot)com for more information. You can donate infant and preemie outfits, journals, gifts cards to JoAnn Fabrics or Michaels, or you can request a copy of the pattern for the teddy bear and make a few for the memory bags. You can also make a cash donation and will find that information on the Layne’s Grace website.
More than donations, though, Layne’s Grace is a place of healing for the hurting. If you or someone you know has experienced the loss of a child, please visit the website and feel free to share your story. You may also request one of the handmade teddy bear’s and one will be sent to you as a gift in remembrance of your child. As the Brummit’s so gracefully stated, “The purpose of [Layne's Grace] is not to make money but to be a place of comfort.”
Our children are a gift and a blessing. The story of Layne Grace is a poignant and precious reminder that life is beautiful. May we never take it for granted.
Many thanks to the Brummit family for sharing their story with me.
Such a sad story, but also so uplifting that the family has been able to find a way to help others. My great aunt had to deliver one of her babies stillborn years ago after a boating accident. I only learned this story a few years ago and I just can’t fathom how difficult it must have been for her. This was long before the internet also where now so many folks can reach out and find comfort from others with shared experiences.
Thanks for sharing Layne’s story!