There is no doubt that the influx of modern media has changed the way that families relate to one another.  As a mother of three young children myself, I am well aware of the temptations and struggles facing parents today.  I remember as a child the day we got our beloved Atari complete with Pac Man, Frogger and some race car game of which I can’t remember the name.  And that was the extent of the video games in our home.  My parents never branched out to the Nintendo and so on.  It wasn’t their thing so it wouldn’t be my thing.

What’s more, we never had cable when I was growing up.  I led a sheltered little life, it appears.  But what I remember is that watching TV was a privilege.  It was special and it was something we did together, as a family.  I remember a rare few occsions where I was actually parked in front of the TV by myself.

Fast forward to today.  As I write this it is early morning and I just heard my two oldest children creep out of bed and turn on the TV.  They know how to work the cable box and ar elikely watching some animated show about aliens at this very moment.  And I will probably let them watch until I am finished with my work.  Because that’s the easy thing to do?

But is it the healthiest?

Lynne Lang, Curriculum Development Manager for the BJC School Outreach Program, has done extensive research on the effects of media on the family and violence prevention.  Her passion is to raise the awareness of our culture as to the effects of violent movies and video games and fragmented parenting.

“I am concerned that we as parents are spending so much with our own endeavors and are relying too much on the ease of video games and movies that we are ultimately missing the benefits of parenting,” Lang says.  “And what we as parents need to understand is that all our kids want is to spend time with us.  They want to enjoy us and for us to enjoy them.”

Recent movies, such as the newly released comic style Kick A$$ are evidence of the problem, says Lang, who wrote an extensive article outlining the dangers of exposing our children to this idea of violence for revenge.  You can read that post here, along with Lang’s recent entry on a pivotal California Court decision that could prevent sales of violent video games to minors.

The idea of romanticizing violence as a form of revenge is not a new one.  Hollywood makes a lot of money off similar plots.  But the problem with movies like Kick A$$ is that they are geared toward youth and they portray violence as funny, light, acceptable.  They wrap up revenge in a big box and put a shiney bow on it – it’s all in the name of fun.  But is it safe?

“These movies are merely perpetuating the cycle of pain and revenge that so many kids feel caught in and we as parents need to embrace and teach a healthier response to our children,” says Lang.

It is difficult these days as a parent to set healthy boundaries on technology.  On the one hand, our children need to be tech savvy.  It is a part of their world and they will need to know how to navigate the world of technology.  On the other hand, however, technology should not be a replacement for family togetherness and parenting altogether.  While it is tempting to let our children sit for hours watching movies and playing on the computer (I myself am guilty of succumbing to the temptation), it is not the healthiest thing for our children.  Even if they are playing educational games.

“What we need to get back to,” Lang says, “is enjoying our children.  Taking the time to sit down with them and play family friendly board games, which also serve as educational tools while equally strengthening the family.”

In this media driven, media focused world, we as parents have a tough job.  The temptations that face our children are greater than any we ever experienced growing up.  And the temptations that we as parents face, as well as the demands, are greater than ever.  But knowing and understanding the long term impact of what our children are exposed to, however, requires that we be diligent and vigilent in making sure that we are the ones who shape who they become – not the media.

To read more of Lynne Lang’s research, visit her website.

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