I remember the first time I lied to my son.

It all began with ”Sorry sweetie you can’t have any more candy. All gone.” Then I hid the sugary evidence.  Lying was so much easier. Because trying to reason with a two-year-old? Like nailing jello to a tree. But then the lying crept into our bedtime routine as well.

“Everyone in the world is asleep but you Seth. You’ve got to go to bed.”

Of course I felt guilty, but I hey, it worked. Besides, by the end of the day? I was too tired to argue or deal with the fuss. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not a perfect parent. But I’m also not alone in this issue.

“We are surprised by how often parenting by lying takes place,” said study researcher Kang Lee of the University of Toronto, Canada. “Our findings showed that even the parents who most strongly promoted the importance of honesty with their children engaged in parenting by lying.”

Ahh, the ole “do as I say, not as I do.”

Sometimes parents lie about the little things to make life easier – a way to prevent a tantrum or curb bad behavior. Other times, parents fib to protect their kids’ feelings. (“I can’t wait to wear my macarroni necklace out to dinner!”)  And there’s even those lies we tell when we try to skirt uncomfortable/scarey issues.

But lying can harm child-parent bonds, according to researchers.  

If your child catches you in a lie, he or she might be a bit irritated with you. You might feel like a jerk. According to Nancy Darling, a professor of psychology at Oberlin College, “In the long term, being caught in repeated lies means our kids learn we can’t really be trusted. Kids need their parents to be a rock of certainty, and each lie is a chip off that certainty,” she tells Redbook. ”Plus, children of parents who fib frequently are better at deception themselves — and employ it more often. Most important, every time you lie to avoid a difficult topic, such as sex or illness, you miss a precious opportunity to talk openly and honestly with your children and communicate that they can always turn to you, even when what they have to say is awkward or unpleasant.”

Gail Heyman, one of the experts who ran the study on lying, told Live Science that “Parents often lie on the spur of the moment, and they don’t think about what they’re saying and how it will affect their child.” She cautioned, “I think parents should figure out in advance what their general beliefs are so when it comes to the situation, you’re working with your beliefs rather than what pops into your head at the moment.”