Comments on: Do Kids Need A Best Friend?

By: Farrell

Farrell — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 14:37:44 +0000

I was (am) an only child and therefore always needed a best friend –
In my opinion, those “pyschologists and educators [who]are beginning to question whether kids should have best friendships…say having having a best friend hinders a child’s emotional growth” need to find something better to do with their time.

By: Lauralee Hensley

Lauralee Hensley — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:13:39 +0000

I’m sorry, but if kids don’t learn how to grow special bonds with other non-parents in childhood, then I think they’ll have difficulty learning how to do such in adulthood.
I am the perfect example of that. I never had any best friends in childhood and therefore developed a pretend imaginary best friend named Truly. I needed my best friend to help me get through a difficult time in my life (to get over one of my sister’s death), but I think if I’d had an actual real human child best friend that I wouldn’t have needed that.
I think growing into an adult is about adding more knowledge onto things we’ve learned and developed reasoning with as children.
How are you going to learn reasoning in your relationships if they
are limited by what a shrink says or a teacher says is right or wrong before you’ve even had the chance to experience anything.
I find this an isolating concept, and I wished I’d had a best friend as a child, a middle-schooler, a high-schooler, or a college student.
I didn’t. It’s a lonely world out there without a special bond.
Thankfully at 34 I meet the man who is now my husband. So finally that special bond is there. I think it is pretty sad that before that time, I actually thought of my mom as my only friend.
Granted their ideas may be best for some children, but I don’t think it should be used as a generalized rule. Each child/person is unique and I think they gravitate towards another person if they have a need, and thankfully that other person is there and willing to fill that need in some respect.

By: Kelli

Kelli — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 18:12:54 +0000

I agree. I think best friends are sweet and important. And the fact is, most kids do naturally gravitate toward one person who compliments them personality-wise. Of course, as they grow older, it’s important to watch out for danger signs in a friendship, but we parents will also have to watch out for warning signs in a group of kids as well. The fact is, we parents have to be vigilant no matter what, so why worry if our children have one “best” friend? I don’t see any reason to discourage that in the slightest. Great topic, Lisa!