We’ve all seen them and been uncomfortable.  We’ve cringed when they yelled and glared when their rage has shifted to our own children.  We’ve rolled our eyes at their obvious lack of self control and looked with pity at the little ones who are being shaped by a life of competition.

I’m talking, of course, about the sideline parent.  As our oldest transitions out of the world of “sports for socialization” and into the world of competitive sports, I find myself wary of pushing him into too much, too fast.  So I put out a call on both Twitter and Facebook asking for opinions.  How much is too much when it comes to kids sports?  How early do you start your children in organized sports and how active do you allow them to be?

Most of the responses I received confirmed what I felt, though a few were more open to allowing kids with a competitive nature compete.  “My son thrives on competition,” one man wrote, “So I am inclined to let him compete with more frequency and intensity than his older brother who isn’t as comfortable in a competitive situation.”

Many people wrote that before first or second grade, sports whould be for no more than socialization and fun.  “We signed our son up for soccer at age four simply for fun and exercise.  I also wanted to provide him with a team of friends that he could grow up with that would give him a sense of history someday when he looks back on his childhood,” said one Ballwin mother.  Another mother said, “I think that starting our children in sports young sets them up for a lifetime of healthy behaviors and choices, but I worry about my three year old becoming too obsessed with competition.”

My son has some natural ability in baseball.  He enjoys the sport and he is quite good at it.  But he is not an overly competitive kid.  He likes to have fun.  I love that about him.  So my husband and I have been debating whether to enroll him in baseball this fall.  Because he is entering first grade, I fear that fall ball will be too much, both for him and for me.  Neither one of us has experienced full school days before (sob) and I’m not sure we’re ready for five full days a weeks plus practices and weekend games.  Call me crazy, but that seems like overkill.

On the other hand, he really is very good at baseball and I would like to nuture his talent.  I also don’t want him to get passed up by other kids who will learn the nuances of the game like fielding and passing the ball.  I worry that by not enrolling him, we will be putting him at a disadvantage.

The same goes for my daughter who is naturally very talented at gymnastics.  So much so that she was asked to participate in a special developmental team in preparation for competition when she’s older.  She’s four.  I declined.  I was excited about the possibility, but I knew she wasn’t ready.  I want her to enjoy gymnastics, not become a six year old burn out.  There is plenty of time for learning and developing skills, but they only get to be children once and I am a firm believer that children thrive when they are playing, not competing.

I also believe that parents thrive when they aren’t running from here to there trying to keep up with an over abundance of extracurricluar activities.  That will come someday – it is the natural evolution of parenting.  But in the early developmental years I do think it’s okay to say no and simply let our children fall in love with the game.  Because if they love the game, they will enjoy the game and if they enjoy it, they will want to compete.

What are your thoughts?