I remember when “Jackson” came into our lives. We’d just moved into a new house and neighborhood. My son was in preschool. Jackson lived in a fort, could swim 100 miles per hour and loved cookies. In fact he loved cookies so much, my son often needed a few extra. (Jackson apparently was quite the cookie thief.) Jackson was an interesting character. In fact, one of his most distinguishing qualities was his invisibility.

A generation (or more) ago, an “imaginary friend” was seen as a negative by the likes of childcare experts like Dr. Spock. Dr. Spock’s stance was that these kids were lonely and more likely to have social issues. He blamed parents and told them the “cure” was more attention and hugs. You know, as if parents don’t have enough guilt.

But research in more recent years has determined that having these sorts of friends when a child is younger is completely fine. In fact, these friends can be a big benefit.

For some kids, imaginary friends help children coping with a life changing events. (Years ago when I got a new little brother, I also gained my own imaginary friend named Hodgi. He even wore a turban. ) For others, these friends help them master new skills. And yet for a plethora of other little ones, “pretend friends or creatures are simply fun. Whatever purpose they serve and whatever form they take, fantasy friends indicate a fertile imagination,” according to Psychology Today.

In fact, according to psychologist, Dr. Evan Kidd at Melbourne’s La Trobe University, who studied children aged three years to six, “children with imaginary friends are better at learning to communicate than other children because they have a lot of practice at inventing interactions with their friends, which helps them improve their conversational skills.”

In these conversational scenarios, kids have the opportunity to practice both sides of the conversation. They control the course of the exchange and can think up different ideas – sort of like a test lab for communication.

When or if you find yourself in the midst of such “company”?Susan Newman a social physchologist has a few pointers.

“Allow your child to decide how much you can engage in his or her fantasy. Respect your child’s space and let her take the lead. If the ‘friend’ often rides in the family car, don’t ask if she’s joining you today; wait to be told,” she notes. ”Once given the okay by your child, it’s fine to talk to or about the imaginary friend, but it’s is important for children to remain in control of the fantasy. Interfering too much can cause friction, anger or power struggles.”

If your child blames the imaginary friend for bad behavior, “don’t go along with this ploy,” Susan advises. ”Instead, try to get your child to take ownership without bringing the imaginary friend into the conflict. If the child is relentless, suggest that both of them apologize, clean up, go to your room… If your child acts out in destructive ways through an imaginary friend too often, consider consulting a mental health professional.”

Jackson only stuck around for a few months. Sometimes Jackson “misbehaved”. Seth would tattle on him and tell me I should enforce time-out for Jackson. Jackson did share a few dinners with us. But mostly, he just ate alot of cookies.

One day Seth met a new friend. Jack lived in our neighborhood, had a cool swingset, a clubhouse and plenty of Thomas the Tank trains. Did I mention Jack is real? Jackson inexplicably disappeared. Seth and Jack have been friends ever since.