It was the title that first caught my eye. Talk To Me Like I’m Someone You Love.  I beelined for the book by Nancy Dreyfus Psy.D. and began thumbing through as I waited for a clerk at Borders to find the location of a different book I’d walked in to buy. 

Now on this particular day, at this particular moment, my hubby was on my sh*t list for something he hadn’t even realized had deeply hurt me. So I began reading the premise of the book. And as I saw some of the flash cards, my mood softened.

I have a difficult time pin-pointing my feelings at times. Sometimes fear and anger and sadness all feel the same way. And sometimes I can feel something and not really understand the why’s behind it. And if you’re unsure as to what that emotion is, how on earth can you properly articulate it?

Dr. Nancy suggests the next time you’re in the midst of a heated argument thumb through the flash cards to show your honey how you’re feeling.

The cards get the message across in a much more loving, nonemotionally charged way. And there are flash cards for all sorts of messages like setting limits, feeling vulnerable, taking responsibility, apologizing and getting clarification.

And in case your wondering what some of those messages are?  Here’s a few examples. On giving information, “I know I’m pretty shut down right now… but I promise I’ll be back.” On shifting gears, “This feels awful. Can we start again and really listen to each other?” On feeling vulnerable, “It’s frightening to me that we see things so differently.”

See? Much more loving. I’m thinking that this would be a great bridal shower or wedding present. And even couples who’ve been together awhile can even benefit from this book.