Superman, Batman and Wolverine have nothing on the female body. Not only do we grow people, we also make food for people. In the throes of it, it may not seem it was, but the pregnancy thing is the simple part. It’s the giving birth and then figuring out how you are going to feed the baby that is the first of many stressors a Mom has to face. Will you breastfeed or will you bottlefeed? That question evokes more cultural debates than the smoke monster and the island combined.

The Boob Supremacy
Even more than “when are you due,” a pregnant lady is asked if they will breastfeed or bottlefeed their new baby. It is a loaded question though, because if you say bottle you automatically lose (the parenting game, I guess?). Even the formula companies tell you that breastfeeding is best- then right at about three weeks, when you are so tired from the feedings every two hours, and the crying, they send you a bunch of coupons for their special night formula that helps baby sleep longer. Those tricky…

While breastmilk is, undeniably, the world’s most perfect food for baby, not all Moms can, or want to, breastfeed. I know of several women who had medical issues that were not resolvable and stopped them from nursing- from milk never coming in to pain while feeding. Top post-baby hormones with feelings of inadequacy, then add a heap of guilt because “breastfed babies are smarter and better adjusted”. Paraphrasing, but seriously- the message that is often lamented and repeated is breastfeed or baby be damned (and mommy be glared at in the park). I like to call it the boob supremacy.

The Boob Ultimatum
You’ve made the decision. After dedicating 9+ months of your body to baby, you are going to add to that by breastfeeding her. It’s a commendable thing, and I really do believe that anyone who breastfeeds for five days or five years deserves a medal of honor. Yes, middle of the night feedings can be a little easier, but it is hard, emotional, and trying work. Especially in the beginning.

Those night time feedings are only spaced about two hours apart, and as your baby is learning how to eat it can take up to an hour for them to get enough to eat… which means sleep one hour, feed the next, sleep another, feed another. There is no rest for the weary, especially while building up your milk supply since there is little to pump. And being weary keeps your milk supply low. It’s tough. You can’t sleep for feeding, and you can’t feed for sleeping.

Aside from those Catch 22′s you have to deal with another big one- how to feed your baby and get on with your life at the same time. While you get the evil gerbil stink-eye when you bottlefeed at the playground, no one wants you to whip your boob out willy-nilly when the baby gets hungry. While the baby books tout the ease of always having your milk with you as a big advantage of breastfeeding, unless you are extremely comfortable in the naked-in-public department finding a place to feed your baby is a huge challenge. The feedings might spread apart over time, but who really wants to bond with their baby in a smelly restaurant bathroom? No one, so your baby goes hungry or you do.

In today’s culture where breastfeeding women are shamed into corners to feed their baby, and bottlefeed women are shamed into a mean case of Mommy guilt, what is a mother to do? It’s the first of the many Mommy wars that it seems every American Mom is fighting. It’s divisive and you have to fall into one camp or another. It’s the boob conspiracy that no one tells you about.