My family and I are self-admitted foodies. While other families go on vacations and bring back glowing descriptions of paintings and churches, we can illustrate every luscious detail of the Paella in Barcelona, the Caprese salad in Florence, or even the amazing carrot cake in Chicago. While watching shows on the Food Network, we love hearing the descriptions of specific flavors and ingredient combinations in the foods they feature. Our restaurant experiences are not just about satisfying hunger, but enjoying the specific flavors in each bite.

It might seem contrary that someone who teaches fitness for a living would advocate the enjoyment of an array of foods and flavors. But an awareness of what we eat, or something called mindful eating, is exactly why the Mindful Eating and Living (MEAL) program at the University of New Mexico Center for Life Integrative Medicine Specialty Clinic was developed by Brian Shelley, MD.

He noticed that standard mindfulness-based stress reduction programs were changing participants’ eating behaviors and wondered whether a mindfulness program focusing specifically on eating could help people who were overweight or obese and trying to lose weight.

By paying attention both to inner cues (thoughts, emotions and sensations) and to the environment, research suggests that mindful eating programs have much to offer chronically unsuccessful dieters. They deal with topics like foods that trigger binges, how to shop mindfully for food and how to deal with environmental pressures to overeat.

The program uses experiential exercises to help participants apply mindfulness to everyday eating decisions: like eating a single raisin (or other simple food) slowly, so you can fully appreciate its visual appearance, smell, texture and taste. Or, eating typical trigger foods, like potato chips, cookies, or even ice cream mindfully, to distinguish between the expectation and actual experience of enjoyment and satisfaction. I have to agree with some of the suggestions. By taking my time with a single scoop of ice cream and a small spoon, I can literally make my dessert last twice as long as wolfing down a cone, giving myself time to feel satisfied sooner and eat less.

In his book, Eating the Moment: 141 Mindful Practices to Overcome Overeating One Meal at a Time, Pavel Somov teaches original exercises to help readers learn about their palates and manage their appetites. His books eschew perfectionism and provide ways to become more aware of the food choices we make and how to make better ones. He focuses on the experience during a meal with exercises like: recognizing the effect of drinking water on hunger and fullness, or sharing a potluck meal where each participant brings one healthy item and one less healthy item, and everyone practices making food choices and leaving food on the plate.

He suggests pacing our eating by half, and resting our hands between bites of food to fully appreciate the flavors while we chew our food thoroughly. Typically when we eat, we tend to eat the entire portion. This kind of eating doesn’t factor in the delay between your stomach’s knowing you’re full and your brain’s knowing you are full. As a result, we overeat. The book also advocates practices like buying a bag of chips or cookies or candy and seeing how long you can make it last. Instead of scarfing down the whole bag at one sitting, take the single piece and savor the flavors.

Also, since eating links people, places and things of our past, he explains how it can be a great way of going down memory lane. Reminiscent eating is an opportunity to turn a simple act of eating into a meaningful experience with the added advantage of slowing down the process of eating. When you look at the food in front of you and allow yourself to free-associate about what the dish, the smell, and the taste remind you of, it turns mechanical and meaningless eating into sentimental and mindful enjoyment of your meal. Even a cooling off period can help you really appreciate the flavors in front of you.We’ve all burnt our lips on a bowl of soup, or a cup of coffee. Next time, give it a few moments to cool off. Enjoy the wait so you can really appreciate the flavors.

Although it might seem a little forced at first, taking the time to truly enjoy the food in front of you, and really tasting the flavor nuances of what you are eating could be just the key to taking control of your eating behavior!

We at StLFamilyLife.com would like to wish you a wonderful, safe Memorial Day. Our normal posting schedule will resume tomorrow.

Thanks so much for reading. It means the world to us. And in the mean time, go hug a veteran!

It is 8 a.m. As I sit in the breakfast nook answering emails, readying a boy for school and writing this, the hubby has hit the snooze on his alarm clock at least six times. Six times, people! 

He’s been doing this for years, setting the alarm at some ungodly early hour and then hitting the snooze button repeatedly. (Ok. In his defense, anything earlier than 7:35 a.m. on a weekday is deemed by me as an “ungodly hour.”) 

Why doesn’t he just set his alarm to a later time? Because at night as he sets the alarm, he has every intention of getting up early. But then morning comes… He’s tired. (I understand. I am too!) It drives me crazy. Course that’s if I’m able to sleep. Usually his incessant snoring keeps me up most of the night. And trust me, we’ve tried everything under the sun to get him to stop snoring. The $700 mouth piece made his jaw sore. No, he doesn’t have sleep apnea.  Breathe Right strips and nasal sprays were a joke. Surgery didn’t work either.

So now most nights I sleep in the guest room. Apparently, I’m not the only married waking up sans spouse most mornings. A study by the National Sleep Foundation found that almost a quarter of couples sleep in separate quarters. According to Forbes, many couples are not only shifting to separate sleep arrangements but designing “his” and “her” master bedrooms!

Our single sleeping arrangement happened gradually, with me spending the night in the guest room only during times when I had become so sleep deprived it was affecting my health. (Like slamming my hand in a car door and being too tired to quickly realize WHY I was still tethered to the car.)  Like a lot of people, I stubbornly fought a move to seperate beds, thinking it would mean a loss of intimacy. But as the sleepless nights accumulated, my outlook changed.

I asked Dr. Oscar Schwarz,  the medical director of the Barnes-Jewish West County Hospital Sleep Disorders/EEG Center, about the reation he’s gotten from his St. Louis area patients when he suggests separate slumbering quarters. “I have not seen much ambivalence regarding sleeping separately,” he said. (It’s) “usually out of necessity! Snoring, restlessness or special needs initiate this.”

He also mentioned that the lack of (or poor quality of) sleep can adversely affect a marriage and added, “Trying to get a good night of sleep maybe is the issue. Perhaps a happy marriage can be in lieu of cohabitation in the same bed!”

If you’re one of those people who does worry about how your relationship may fare after  seceding from the same bed? Many couples say the quality of sleep they now get as a result of snoozing apart gives them more energy to positively engage with their spouse. They have more energy to go out on dates. And the resentment as a result of the exhaustion is gone.

But sleeping in different rooms isn’t always the perfect solution.  Stacey, of St. Louis, and her husband began snoozing in separate spaces alittle more than two months ago when the new mattress they’d bought ended up hurting her husband’s back and neck.  She sleeps in their master bedroom. He’s been sleeping in their finished basement. While she admits she’s “probably sleeping better now since I don’t hear the snoring every night,” it still isn’t an optimal solution for her. “He says he sleeps so much better down there, but then I’m the one the kids go to during the night if there’s a problem. So….I think it’s working for him, but not for me.”

As for my honey and I? We’ll be married 11 years tomorrow. Our schedules are more hectic than ever. But now that we both get some quality “zzzz” on a regular basis? It has been our happiest year of marriage yet.  Would I love to spend each morning waking up with my honey? Yes. But we’ve learned being well rested makes us better partners during the waking hours. So for us? This works.

Thanks to Dr. Oscar Schwartz, who specializes in sleep disorders including sleep apnea, cataplexy, sleep paralysis, narcolepsy and insomnia. His office is located at 969 Mason Road, Suite 250, St. Louis, MO 63146. He can be reached at 314-878-4699.

You’ve just learned of your friend’s miscarriage. Your heart aches for her. You struggle to convey a message of comfort and support. But you might not know what to say.

No matter how much time has elapsed, a miscarriage is a loss and an experience no woman forgets.

“I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It was devastating. I felt like you spend so much time TRYING NOT TO HAVE KIDS that when you are ready, and nature throws you a curve, you feel like something’s wrong with you,” says Lynn Zipfel Venhaus of Belleville, Ill.

Since many people don’t know what to say, some simply avoid addressing the issue. For some women, this is helpful. For others, hurtful.  

Lisa Breen of Ballwin, Mo miscarried three years ago. She thinks how you acknowledge the issue (or not) differs by individual.

“I think the mystery around what to say is really dependent on the needs of the individual person. I am not a private person, so I was ok with people knowing about it or talking about it. So for me it was strange when people did not acknowledge it. A simple, ‘sorry to hear about your loss’ would have sufficed. However, I have known some girls who do not want to discuss it at all,” she says.

I’ve had two miscarriages in the past 8 years. (I wrote about it here.)  From personal experience, I hated hearing, “It’s God’s will.” You never know what a person’s religious convictions are. Plus, the message can come across off-handed or if someone’s trying to glide over the woman’s pain. Another well-meaning message that falls flat? “Well it’s for the best. The baby must not have been very healthy.” That implies no one would want a baby that isn’t perfect. Plus, it doesn’t make the loss any easier to bare.

Stacey a mother in Illinois, heard these sentiments too. “The worst was ‘You just have to move on. There’s always a reason when this happens’ and ‘It’ll happen.’

So the right thing to often say? In most cases, the message is simple. “I’m thinking of you. I’m sorry for your loss.”

For many women, it helps to hear from others who have been through the same heartbreak.

“I wanted to talk to others who had been through it, I liked the comfort of someone else knowing what I went through. I wish those people would have come forward when it happened. One friend did and I was very grateful,”  Lisa Breen adds.

Stacey agrees, “The people who were honest and offered advice after actually going through this were the best. They said it sucked and it was the worst thing that has EVER happened. They are exactly right!”

Have you been through a miscarriage. What words comforted you?

Punxsuawnie Phil saw his shadow today. You know what that means! Six more weeks of winter. (If you’d like to visit Phil’s official website and become a member of his club, here’s a site you might want to check out this site.)

So if, according to the lore, spring isn’t on the immediate horizon, we’re be spending more time indoors. What to do? Here are a few quick ideas if you’ve got a quiet Saturday or Sunday.

How about ice skating? There are several indoor ice skating rinks in the area. Ice Zone is one.  And don’t forget about the Kirkwood skating rink as well as the one in Brentwood. And for those in Chesterfield area? Give Hardees IcePlex a try! 

Inflatable playgrounds like Monkey Joe’s and Bounce U are also fun (and physical) alternatives. For more information on Monkey Joe’s as well as locations, click here. To find a Bounce close to you, click here.

Or if you’re more the artistic sort, why not try your hand at pottery? There’s Baked Goods in South County, The Painted Pot in St. Charles, as well as a very cool place called Glazed and Confused. (Don’t you just LOVE that name?)

How about a trip to the St. Louis Art Museum? Or if you’re down by the riverfront, rediscover the St. Louis Arch?

Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.  May 2010 bring you (and your families) much joy, peace, happiness and fun!

And P.S. If you’re looking for something fun to do on New Year’s Eve? Check out the feature column for a very cool idea!

A recent study showed that 61% of the US population is worried about having enough money to deal with the holidays, while 42% is worried about gift giving. Thirty-four percent are stressing over not having enough time to get things done, while an additional 23% are anxious about running up their credit card debt!

Let’s face it, while this is supposed to be a season of joy and socializing, not many people have the extra money to spend or time to nurture themselves. Often people turn to unhealthy alternatives like drinking more alcohol or over eating.

Marlise Karlin offers six positive tips to release holiday stress:

1. Express: Become aware of why you are stressed and speak about what’s not working – try pacing in your living room – until you’ve said everything you needed to say (Do this when you are alone – so you can really shout it out in a ‘I’m mad as hell” kind of way.) Keep pacing until you have nothing left to say. At this point, you will feel a shift in the stress.

2. Write: If you haven’t formulated what the upset is – or have a hard time expressing yourself, then get out a pen, or sit in front of your computer – and just begin writing. You will be amazed at what pours out.

3. Reboot with The 3 Breath Awareness® – Take 3 DEEP breaths, each one focused on releasing any tension in your body – and focused on connecting to that tranquil place of Stillness within. Envision the silent power of a red rock mountain in Arizona, or the calming blue waters of the Adriatic Sea – and with each breath feel that infinite peace expanding. Take it with you as you continue your day.

4. Get Going: Change locations – get a different perspective – move away from your desk, your home or your environment and feel the mind relaxing as you get involved in other activities. Take a walk, a drive, or even go shopping – holding the vision you are going to find the perfect gift at the perfect price. Enjoy the festive surroundings.

5. Smile & Laugh: Sadly, sometimes we’re in such a rush or so distracted, we need to remind ourselves to smile and enjoy the holiday season. Heart to heart conversations with friends, or even complete strangers, can change our state of mind so quickly. Talk to the sales person, the woman waiting in line, the child trying to decide what they want, the young person trying on new clothes. Watch your worries fade away and a warm smile engulf your beautiful face.

6. Gift Yourself: Buy one for yourself – you deserve a treat. You have added enjoyment to people’s lives today simply by smiling and spreading a bit of good cheer, heart to heart. At this time of year when so many people are depressed, you have gotten out of negativity and discovered tools to shift the stresses we live with daily. Even if it’s only something simple – reward yourself.

Marlise Karlin teaches people how to reboot their lives through The Simplicity of Stillness®, a simple method she created after having a series of profound experiences shift her perspective on life. The Practices have benefited thousands of people all over the world. To find out more about Marlise and the Stillness Sessions audio work, go to http://www.marlisekarlin.com

Nine years ago, I was badly injured on Halloween night while walking my dog. A manhole cover was broken, the lighting was bad and there was no hazard tape around the area. Talk about scarey! I spent that evening in a local emergency room and was out of commission for at least a week. It took about eight weeks to fully heal and I ended up with back problems that took several months more to fix. So this year, I’m posting some safety tips brought to you by Fehr And Peers on behalf of CLIFKid.

Check sidewalks. Look for tripping hazards (created by cracks or uneven pavement) as well as missing chunks of sidewalk. Also, are cars or other objects (utility poles, newspaper racks, etc.) blocking the sidewalk? Gauge the traffic. Does the speed or amount of traffic make this location feel uncomfortable? Do you have personal safety concerns walking in this location?

Quick Fix: Clear debris from your sidewalk and the path to your doorway. Be sure parked cars don’t block the sidewalk. Move trash and recycle bins away from the curb. Use common household items, like “caution” signs taped to folding chairs, to warn of uneven sidewalks. Trim hedges and other landscaping that may block the sidewalk.

Long Term Fix: For sidewalk repairs, contact your local department of public works or dial 311 if available in your community. As a property owner, you may be responsible for repairs to the sidewalk in front of your home. Consider discussing your personal safety concerns with the police department as well as city planning staff.

What about lighting? Are your own porch and walkways well lit? Are neighborhood streetlights burned out? Are sections of the street very dark?

Quick Fix: Enhance residential outdoor lighting with inexpensive, battery-powered wall push-lights or lights with a clamp for fences or railings. You can even replace your green and red holiday lights with orange bulbs!

Long Term Fix: For street lights, contact your city’s public works department and request broken or blinking lights to be changed out. You can also request additional lighting (and lighting that is designed for a pedestrian rather than a car) to be installed.

Do trees or other objects block signs or traffic signals? Are “walk” push buttons broken at traffic signals?
Do you have to rush to cross at traffic signals? Do drivers tend to roll through stop signs or run red lights? Do pedestrians disobey traffic signals?

Quick Fix: Trim bushes, trees and other growth away from traffic signs and corners. Contact your local public works department for bigger landscape maintenance jobs. Contact public works to repair broken push buttons. Consider speaking with the police to request additional enforcement of traffic laws.

Long Term Fix: If a traffic sign is unreadable, contact your local public works department to repair or replace the sign or discuss opportunities, with public works, for increasing your time to cross at a traffic signal.

Do trees, cars or other objects block visibility of the crosswalk? Is the crosswalk paint faded? Are painted crosswalks missing for key locations? Are you uncomfortable crossing in certain areas?

Quick Fix: Make eye contact with drivers when crossing the road (and with pedestrians when you are a driver). Wear bright clothing, especially when walking at night. Cross behind buses. Remember, you may not be visible behind parked cars or landscaping.

Long Term Fix: If crosswalks need to be updated, call your city’s public works department. Request installation of additional painted crosswalks if a painted crosswalk is not available at locations you frequently cross. Discuss opportunities for enhanced crosswalks (with flashing lights, etc.) with the public works department. If drivers are not yielding to pedestrians, talk to police to request additional enforcement or work with city staff to request an educational campaign on crosswalk laws and pedestrian safety in your area.

This article was written by Fehr And Peers on behalf of CLIFKid and edited by MotherOfBun.